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teacher: let's go around the classroom and have everyone say something about themselves
me: FUCK

jasmine-blu:

toxic-ponies:

friendly reminder taylor swift and adele are the same age and one of them is married and pregnant while the other is still mentally stuck in middle school

omg

(via tseted)

Flight attendant: would you like some headphones?
Me: how did you know my name is Phones?

"Don’t you get tired of listening to the same song over and over again?"

Don’t you get tired of BREATHING over and over again?

(Source: c-er, via damn-funny)